The Path Toward Forgiving Yourself
If you’re struggling with an inability to forgive yourself, The Path Toward Forgiving Yourself will provide some helpful insight.
“How do I forgive myself?” This is one of the most common questions that women ask, and one I’ve struggled with myself. As I’ve walked through my comeback journey, forgiveness has been essential for healing — especially self-forgiveness. However, that doesn’t mean it is always easy.
Our Sins Belong to Jesus
It helped me to understand that Jesus paid for our sins with His suffering and death, so our sins — once confessed — no longer belong to us: they belong to Jesus. He literally took our sins upon Himself, which makes Him the rightful owner. By not forgiving ourselves, we are essentially saying that Jesus’s sacrifice means nothing. However, it is our responsibility to “place” our sins upon Jesus by faith through confession and repentance. Until we release our sins from the heart, we still carry them.
The following Bible verses will give us a better understanding of how our sins are transferred to Jesus:
“For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the source of sin for us. Then he sacrificed Christ for us so that in Christ we could be right with God.” ~ II Corinthians 5:21
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” ~ Mark 10:45
“I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you.” ~ Isaiah 44:22
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” ~ I John 1:9
God Longs for Relationship
God wants a relationship with us, and the only thing standing between Him and the people He loves (us!) is sin. So, God made an offering of His Son to remove our sins. Now, it’s up to us to accept God’s offering. When we harbor unforgiveness toward ourselves, we are rejecting what Jesus did for us on the cross.
When you love someone who is far away, you will do anything to be near them, even to the point of removing any mountain that stands in the way. Desperation will cause us to do whatever it takes to make things right so that we can be in the presence of the one we love once again. It’s the same with our relationship with God.
It may come as a surprise, but we are not the only ones who feel this way. God longs for us just as much. Out of His love for us, God made a way for us to return to His love.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” ~ Romans 5:8
Because of my desperation for God’s love and presence, I no longer knowingly allow my sins to stand between us — no matter how painful it is to admit them. So, when I pray to ask forgiveness, I envision Jesus on the cross. In prayer, I lay my sins at His feet. Jesus is worthy to take away my sins — and by virtue of the sinless shed blood of Jesus, I am made worthy in the eyes of Father God.
Barriers to Self-Forgiveness
Shame and guilt are two of the biggest barriers to forgiving ourselves. They are not just emotions. Shame and guilt are bullies that can hold us in spiritual captivity by making it seem hopeless or impossible to forgive ourselves.
We are released from shame and guilt when we change our focus. When we look at ourselves through our own eyes, all we see is a hopeless mess. However, when we look at ourselves through God’s eyes, we can only see His Father’s heart of love and compassion.
“As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.” ~ Psalm 103:13
Finding Freedom Through Self-Forgiveness
When I finally understood the nature of God’s love for me, it became easier to forgive myself. Through prayer, I released the shame and guilt and asked God to help me find freedom. He did!
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” ~ John 8:36
It is helpful to read and re-read Scripture verses that speak of God’s mercy and love, especially regarding forgiveness. Sometimes, not being able to forgive ourselves is because of the way we think. We need to understand how God thinks, instead. Reading Scripture renews our minds and our hearts.
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